Author and foster mother, Cynthia Miller Lovell, contacted me about the book she wrote back in 1999, for younger foster children. I found her book, The Star and its handbook for foster parents to be a wonderful resource for fostering families. What other books have you found helpful in your foster homes?

_{(Cover art used with Cynthia Miller Lovell's permission.)}

A Foster Child's Secrets

_{Photo © Carrie Craft} See more Wordless Wednesday posts.

There are and were quite a few celebrities who have spent some time in foster care. I find this sort of thing fascinating. I don’t know if it’s because of the star struck kid in me or the "rags to riches" tales, but I like real life stories of how people have overcome hardship and gone on to be great.

For some fun, read up on these famous foster kids and then test your knowledge with the Famous Foster Kids Quiz. Or to really challenge yourself, take the quiz first!

Victoria Rowell, from The Young and the Restless is another famous foster kid. She entered foster care at 16 days old, lived in many foster homes, and left the system at the age of 18. Her book entitled, "The Women Who Raised Me: A Memoir," is about her youth in foster care. A time she notes as a positive experience. Rowell works on behalf of foster children through different organizations. She is a national spokeswoman for Casey Family Services, which is a part of the Annie E. Casey Foundation. She also founded the Rowell Foster Children's Positive Plan (RFCPP).

Has anyone read her book?

SOURCE:
Actress Victoria Rowell says foster care served her well by Courtenay Edelhart, Lower Hudson Online

Catch this new celebrity adoption story. Jodi Applegate, 44, an anchor on the New York City Fox News affiliate believed that she was an adoptee for a good portion of her adult life. After her mother passed away her aunt told her the truth. She was not adopted. It seems that Applegate's mother became pregnant in 1963 and moved away from family and friends. After giving birth to her baby girl, she placed the child in a Pittsburgh foster home for 8 months. She later returned, retrieved her daughter and moved back home to West Virginia announcing that she had adopted the little girl.

Wow. I thought that was a new one, but then I found this next similar story.

Academy Award-winning actress Loretta Young gave birth to the love child of Clark Gable in 1935. She placed the infant in an orphange and later returned and adopted the baby girl, according to The Associated Press.

You know, didn't Moses' mom do kind of the same thing? I guess it is true. There is nothing new under the sun.

I "get" why these ladies lied. They wanted to avoid the stigma of being pregnant outside of marriage. But why not tell their children the truth? And along that same line, what makes telling one's child that he or she is adopted so difficult?

This is an interesting article and seems to be backwards and upside down to me as we usually hear of parents not telling their children that they are adopted. But, the serious side of all of this is how traumatizing lying to one's child can be. The aftermath of such news can be the very end of the parent/child relationship.

We hear how many adoptees just "know" that they are adopted or feel out of place in their family. I wonder if Applegate just "knew" that she was not adopted?

Thoughts? Click "comments" and share.

SOURCE:
When Parents Lie About Adoption - ABCNews.com

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Related Articles

• dmc: my adoption journey - Late discovery adoptee shares story on VH1.
• Famous Adoptee Quiz

A Crowning Moment

_{Photo © Carrie Craft} See more Wordless Wednesday posts.

There are so many people who don't understand what it means to parent another's child. The comments that I receive run from, "you're such a saint" to "you're so crazy." I personally hate these types of comments. Most days I feel that I fall short of one of the above descriptors and fully live up to the other.

Those of us in the know that reality is somewhere in the middle. It takes a special person to mother someone else's child, but it also takes a bit of the crazies too. Moms in general are talented and deserve their special day, but there is something extra special in my opinion, about an adoptive mom.

Click "comments" below and share something special about your mom, whether she's your birth, adoptive, or foster mom. We would love to hear your comments.

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Suggested Reading:

• What Is an Adoptive Mother
• Birthmother's Day Created Out of Love or Just More Adoption Propaganda?
• Birth Mother's Day or Mother's Day?

Quick, find a gift for mom:

• Top Adoption Gift Ideas

Yes, 20 years ago Senator Strom Thurmond was encouraged by the National Foster Care Association to proclaim May as National Foster Care Awareness Month. I'm kind of a nerd so I love fun facts. Last year, I won two tickets to dinner and a movie from my foster care agency for knowing this one. The lesson...sometimes it pays to be nerdy.

This month all over the country different agencies celebrate and honor foster parents, but there is a larger goal. To motivate more Americans to step up and help the 513,000 children in foster care. There is always a need for foster parents. Especially since more foster parents are adopting their foster children. This means states are losing beds in which to place future foster children.

If you've ever considered fostering, May is the perfect month to check it out.

If you are a foster parent, what would you want those considering it to know? Or, if you are considering fostering, what do you want to know? Click "comments" below and let's start a discussion.

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Related Reading:
All About National Foster Care Month
The History of National Foster Care Month
Daily Activities to Celebrate National Foster Care Month
Is Foster Parenting for You?

462 children have been removed from the Yearning for Zion Ranch in Eldorado, TX following the April 3, raid. A raid that was organized after a telephone call from a 16-year-old girl alleged abusive treatment from her 49-year-old husband. The girl has yet to be found and newest reports speculate that the call was a prank. Now the state of Texas is working to make sure that the 16 group homes that will be caring for these children are prepared for upcoming challenges. The challenge of culture shock!

According to reports the children have been raised to fear outsiders. It's been said that they don't know that we're at war and have no clue that President Bush is the current leader of our country. In order to make for a smoother transition into mainstream culture the state is opting for group homes and facilities at this time.

The Texas Department of Child Protective Services has issued two primers, "Model for Care For Children From the Yearning For Zion Fundamentalist Latter Day Saints Sect" and "Cultural Awareness Guide for Children From Eldorado."

Some of the suggestions in the primers include:

• No TV, Internet, movies, radio or cell phone usage at this time.
• Don't ask about religion.
• Don't press if the children avoid eye contact.
• Prepare familiar meals such as whole grains and fresh fruits. They are not familiar with processed foods.
• No red clothing. No red shoes. Nothing red in the environment as the FLDS church members believe red is reserved for Jesus Christ. They believe that when He returns, He will be wearing red robes.
• Allow them to continue to wear pioneer clothing, worship, sing and pray as they did on the ranch.
• Home school the children at the group homes until ready to mainstream into public schools.

Going with group homes over traditional foster families allows the children to remain together in large groups with their siblings. A traditional foster home may be more of a culture shock to the children. Group homes are usually temporary and stays average about 90 days, but presiding Judge over the case, Judge Walther, has already issued a court order for discussions to begin if the children need more time.

Perhaps these children shouldn't be taught everything about our culture. How can we ever explain Britany Spears or little Hannah Montana's recent photo shoot? But, you know what? Their culture is a shock to me. Latest numbers suggest that approximately 30 mothers are under the age of 18. Family tress are so confusing that it may take weeks to sort out and DNA test results are not expected for another couple of weeks.

SOURCES:
Tough Transitions for Polygamy Sect Children - ABC News
US polygamist sect children head to foster care - AFP
Polygamist sect children present a cultural challenge for foster-care facilities - Houston Chronicle
Sect Children Face Another World, but Still No TV - The New York Times

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Related Reading:

• Elements that Impact a Foster or Adopted Child's Grief
• How to Create a Safety Plan - Exactly what is being done for the YFZ children.

When my friend moved her 3-year-old foster child from her foster home into a potential adoptive home, she worked with the child to prepare him for the move. She made his lifebook available to him; they looked it over together and spoke often about his workers searching for a mommy and daddy.

He seems to be doing well in his new home. No matter how young, children grieve past losses. They may put on brave faces and go about life, but children will express their emotions eventually; often through behavior as they don't have the vocabulary to express grief verbally. When helping a child work through grief and loss, keep in mind the elements that may be affecting their grief. Also, know that just because a child seems to be doing well in a new home initially does not mean that the good times will last as some kids may "honeymoon" or be your dream child.

How have you helped children move, whether back to their birth home or into a new foster/adopt home? Share your experiences by clicking "comments" below. We can learn a lot from each other!

It's a tough time being an adoptive parent, especially an international adoptive parent. The Hague Convention came into force in the U.S. on April 1 and there are tons of changes to the guidelines. Mardie Caldwell of Let's Talk Adoption gives great advice on how to deal with it all in her article, Dealing with Anger and Depression.

Many adoptive parents understand the strong emotions felt as they weave through the long and tiring adoption process. Read along as Mardie offers clear advice on dealing with the stress of it all.

How do you or have your dealt with the anger, depression and stress of the adoption process? Leave your ideas and thoughts in the comments section below.

_{Photo © Mardie Caldwell and used with permission.}